"...about 12 people dying in the coal mines due to a gas pipe explosion when they..."

[click!]

"...thank the people of this country, for the trust and hope they've put on me, i shall not betray the"

[click!]

"...3 marines are reported dead after a car bombing in downtown Bagdad this morning, said"

[click!]

"... love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to"

[click!]

"...know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

[click!]

"YES! OH YES! YEAH! OH GOD! I'M GONNA COME!"

[click!]

"...on global warming, said a specialist of Cambridge University this monday, when"

[click!]

"...suspicious items in Boston appear to be guerrilla ads for.."

[click!]

"...Jesus Christ! And the world shall be a better place! Now, i just want you, brothers and sisters, to"

[click!]

"...call now and you'll get the Super Washing Machine in this special offer"

[click!]

/yawn.

There's been historic attempts to finish off the lifes of
those bastards who present a threat to the existance of
every human (group/nation) on earth, out of the most notable ones being:

• Nero
• Alexander The Great
• Attila
• Napoleon
• Adolf Hitler
  
• Ronald Reagan (haha! you're dead fucker!)
• Sheryl Leach (Barney The Dinosaur creator)

But none's been more urgent than the disposal of your fav president,
and (oh noes) defender of world freedom, George W. Bush.
However, no extremist islamic terrorist group, mad anti-globalization orga
nor a sensible person have had nor dreamed the chance a simple object had:
                           
That's right, one of this glazed, brittle biscuit salted on the outside
and usually baked in the form of a loose knot or a stick and whatnot
(actually looks like a baked turd to be honest), choked Bush to the
point of unconsciousness, causing him bruises in the process and
sky-rocketing presidential mediocrity.

Ergo:

these awards are intended to show the variety of stuff that can be found
on the internet, though i'm sure most of you are aware of this variety,
i post those sites which i find to be more hilarious/stupid/senseless and
show our zoociety in decay.

but guess what!? i screwed it up back in 2005 and posted a shit since April that year!
haha! what a fuck-up!

so here's a summary of the 2005 [sick and sad world] Monthly Awards:

Month 1: Kitty Porn
Month 2: Barby Porno
Month 3: Fat Girl Speaks
Month 4: The Official George Bush Hatelisting

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television.
Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.


Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance.
Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.


Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows,
stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pushing you last in a miserable home,
nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have
spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life.

And the reasons?
There are no reasons.
Who needs reasons?